Why Do We Fall in One-Sided Love? A Journey of Soul Lessons and Healing

Although I’ve been a Life Coach — and especially a Twin Flame Coach — for years, there’s one question that keeps returning to me again and again.I’ve seen it in my clients, in people’s stories, and even in movies or real life situations — this pattern of one-sided Love.

Someone loves deeply, truly, endlessly… and yet, the other person doesn’t respond the same way.Why does this happen? Why do people fall into Love that doesn’t come back to them?

It looks so complicated from the outside, but as I kept observing, I realized there are deeper layers behind it — psychological, spiritual, karmic, and even from Soul Contracts or past lives.

And with every story I witnessed, one truth kept whispering: There is always a reason, and always a lesson. So today, let’s explore this truth together — why one-sided Love happens, what it teaches us, and how it can actually become a path of healing and awakening.

🌙 The Spiritual Side — Soul Contracts, Karma, and Past-Life Ties

From a spiritual view, nothing is random. Every connection we experience carries an energetic purpose — and often, one-sided Love is part of a Soul Contract we made before this lifetime.

That person’s Soul may have agreed to enter your life to trigger something in you — maybe your awakening, your healing, or your return to self-worth. Sometimes, it’s to balance a karmic debt or an energy from a past life — where perhaps you didn’t return their Love, and this time the roles are reversed for your Souls to grow in compassion and understanding.

This doesn’t mean it’s a punishment. It’s a Soul lesson. A reminder that Love is meant to evolve — from longing to wholeness, from attachment to awareness.

Every Soul Bond we form, no matter how short or painful, opens our heart wider to the real meaning of unconditional Love.

💫 The Psychological Side — The Human Heart and Its Patterns

From a psychological point of view, one-sided Love often starts in the unconscious mind. Many times, what we seek in another person is not just them — but a reflection of an unmet need inside us.

It could be the warmth we never received as a child, or the validation we crave to feel enough.The person we fall for seems to carry something our heart longs for — safety, attention, admiration, or deep care.

Sometimes it’s about attachment styles too. Those with an anxious attachment often feel magnetized by people who are emotionally unavailable. It’s like a subconscious attempt to “win” the Love they were once denied.The mind romanticizes this chase, while the heart keeps hoping.

And yes, biologically too, our brain releases dopamine and fantasy hormones during longing — creating a cycle that feels like real Love, but is often a beautiful illusion designed to show us where we need to heal.

💔 Why It Hurts So Much — The Mirror of Transformation

One-sided Love feels devastating because it triggers our deepest wounds — rejection, unworthiness, and abandonment.But that pain is also a mirror. It shows us where we still seek Love outside instead of within.

Many people, in trying to hold on, end up falling into toxic or karmic bonds — where the energy feels addictive, heavy, or confusing.But even these connections can become transformational when we awaken to their purpose.

When you stop asking “Why don’t they love me?” and start asking “What is this trying to teach me?” — that’s where the real healing begins.

Because pain is not meant to punish — it’s meant to purify.

🌹 The Hidden Lessons in One-Sided Love

Every unreturned Love holds gifts wrapped in pain.Some of the deepest lessons we learn are through these experiences:

• To practice Self-Love that isn’t dependent on anyone else’s validation.

• To understand unconditional Love — loving without control or demand.

• To see the difference between Love and attachment.

• To build boundaries while keeping our heart open.

• To remember that rejection doesn’t mean we’re unlovable — it means our energy is being redirected toward what’s truly meant for us.

When you embrace these lessons, one-sided Love stops being a wound — it becomes a turning point.

🔮 The Assurance of True, Mutual Love

Spiritually speaking, Soulmates and Twin Flames play very different roles.Soulmates often come to teach lessons — comfort, Friendship, or support — but not every Soulmate is meant for a romantic Relationship.

Twin Flames, on the other hand, are the divine mirrors of each other’s Souls.Their journey often begins as one-sided or imbalanced, but eventually — through healing and awakening — it moves into reciprocal and conscious Love.

Because in a Twin Flame connection, separation is only temporary. The Love is always mutual at the Soul level — even if it takes time to manifest in the human experience.

That’s why, if you’ve ever felt deep Love that seemed one-sided, know that sometimes it’s preparing you for your ultimate Twin Flame Union — where Love becomes two-way, awakened, and whole.

✨ A Different Kind of Solution — Practical + Energetic Work That Actually Shifts the Pattern

1) Map the Pattern (not the person)

• Spend two focused sessions (30–40 minutes each) mapping how a specific one-sided Love shows up: What triggers you? When did it start? Which inner voice shows up (shame, pleading, hope)?

• Label your patterns: “I chase when I feel unseen,” or “I minimize my needs to stay connected.” Naming compounds power.

• This mapping makes the unconscious conscious — the only real place change begins.

2) Re-calibrate the Nervous System (somatic first)

• Before you try cognitive reframes, soothe body states. Practice a 5–minute regulation protocol: inhale 4s — hold 3s — exhale 7s (or any ratio that calms you). Do it three times when triggered.

• Add simple grounding: wiggle toes, press feet into floor, hum for 20 seconds to regulate the vagus nerve.

• Why this matters: When your nervous system is calm, your choices are from presence, not from reactive longing.

3) The Mirror Dialogue (advanced inner-child work)

• Sit with a journal and have a written conversation between “You-now” and your “You-then” (the part that first opened to this kind of longing). Ask: What did you need then that you didn’t get? What promise can I make to you now?

• Make a small ritual to validate that child’s pain — light a candle, read the dialogue aloud, then fold the paper and keep it somewhere sacred.

• This heals the wound that the one-sided Love repeatedly pressed.

4) The Energetic Boundary + Gentle Cord Repatterning

• Instead of dramatic cord-cutting, use cord repatterning: visualize cords between you and the other person being inspected, lovingly rewired so they become neutral threads of information rather than hungry energy drains.

• Say aloud: “I convert this connection into clear information for my growth. I reclaim my charge.” Visualize your energy returning into your heart.

• This method works better for karmic bonds because it doesn’t attempt to erase Soul memory — it simply restores your sovereignty.

5) Desire Re-scripting (not suppression)

• One-sided Love often leaves us feeling ashamed of wanting. Instead of denying desire, re-script it: write a paragraph that begins “I desire… and I am whole regardless.” Example: “I desire companionship and I am complete whether it arrives now or later.”

• Repeat this morning and night for 21 days. It retrains your reward pathways away from the addictive loop of longing.

6) The “Relationship Audition” (practical test for future relational safety)

• Create a short checklist of non-negotiables and early red flags (consistency, emotional availability, reciprocal curiosity). Use this as a real audition process — do not let romance fog your standards.

• This protects you from falling into the same pattern with different faces.

7) Twin Flame-Specific: Growth-Check Protocol

• If you’re working from a Twin Flame framework, do this growth-check once a season: Ask — Are we both doing our inner work? Is there reciprocal reflection? Are separations birthing growth or just repeating old stories?

• If not reciprocal, it’s not a failure — it’s information. Twin Flame energy is mutual at the Soul level; the human timeline varies.

8) Ritual of Gratitude + Release (soul-level closure)

• Write a 3-part letter (you keep it): 1) What I loved, 2) What I learned, 3) What I let go of. Close with: “Thank you for showing me how to come home to myself.” Burn or bury the letter if that feels right, or keep it sealed as ceremonial archive.

• This ritual honors the spiritual currency of the experience while freeing your forward movement.

9) Micro-Commitments to Self (tiny but powerful)

• Choose 3 small commitments you will keep for 90 days (e.g., morning 10-minute breathwork, one weekly call with a friend, one creative hour). Micro-consistency rebuilds self-trust faster than grand intentions.

10) When to Ask for Help

• If a pattern repeats despite honest work, bring it to a Twin Flame Coach or therapist who understands attachment + spiritual dynamics. Coaching accelerates insight and avoids self-sabotage.

What this approach does differently

• It is somatic first (body informs mind).

• It honors Soul-level meanings without excusing harmful patterns.

• It uses non-invasive energetic re-patterning (so karmic memory is respected but your sovereignty is restored).

• It gives practical audition tools so you don’t conflate longing with suitability.

• It offers a Twin Flame growth-check so you can distinguish Soul Mirror from unhealed chase.

These are not quick fixes — they are a way to change how your nervous system, your story, and your energetic field respond to Love. When those three shift, the external pattern rarely repeats the same way again.

💭 Frequently Asked Questions

1. Can one-sided Love ever turn into Friendship?

Yes, it can — but only when emotional detachment and inner healing have taken place.Once you release your expectations and stop seeking Love from that person, the energy naturally shifts from attachment to peaceful connection.If any part of you still hopes for something more, give it time. Don’t rush into Friendship; allow your heart to truly heal first. A Friendship born from peace stays pure, but one born from longing reopens the wound.

2. Does one-sided Love ever turn mutual later?

It’s possible — especially if it’s a karmic or Twin Flame connection — but it doesn’t happen through waiting or chasing.It happens through evolution and energy alignment. When both Souls complete their lessons, balance their masculine-feminine energies, and meet from wholeness, Love can become mutual.But remember, your journey is never about “getting” someone; it’s about becoming Love itself.

3. Why do I still feel connected to someone who doesn’t love me back?

That’s the energy of a Soul Bond or a Soul Contract still active.When two Souls connect deeply, their energies merge. Even if one person pulls away physically, the connection lingers in your emotional or energetic field.You can clear it with conscious practices — breathwork, grounding, forgiveness, or energy release meditations — while affirming:

“I honor what we shared, and I now call all my energy back to me with Love.”That’s how you gently untie the bond without resentment.

4. How to know if it’s one-sided Love or just a temporary distance?

Look at the consistency of energy.If communication, care, and emotional effort flow only from you — and you feel anxiety or depletion instead of calm — it’s one-sided.Temporary distance still feels rooted in trust and connection, while one-sided Love feels lonely and uncertain.Your intuition never lies; the truth is always felt before it’s seen.

5. Why does one-sided Love feel stronger than mutual Love?

Because it activates every unhealed space inside you — longing, fear, rejection, hope — all at once.That intensity is not proof of deeper Love, it’s proof of deeper wounding.The Universe uses it to mirror what within you still seeks completion.Once healed, you’ll experience Love that’s peaceful, not painful — strength, not struggle.

6. Can one-sided Love happen even in Twin Flame connections?

Yes — especially in the early stages.In a Twin Flame dynamic, one runner and one chaser often mirror each other’s fears and wounds.It feels one-sided, but it’s not truly unrequited — it’s unbalanced.The Love is mutual at the Soul level, but the human part isn’t ready yet.Once both heal, that same connection transforms into the Divine Union it was always meant to be.

7. Why do we attract emotionally unavailable people?

Because we subconsciously attract what reflects our own emotional availability.If a part of you still fears intimacy, rejection, or vulnerability, you’ll magnetize partners who echo that same vibration.This isn’t punishment — it’s awareness training.Each unavailable person is a mirror showing where you still need to open, trust, and value your own Love.

8. What lesson does one-sided Love teach us?

It teaches Self-Love, boundaries, and energetic self-respect. It helps us understand that Love is not proven by suffering or waiting.Real Love doesn’t need to be begged for — it flows naturally, both ways.One-sided Love is the Soul’s way of reminding you: “You deserve to be loved the way you love.”

🌈 From Pain to Purpose

Every Love we feel — even the ones that break us — leads us closer to our truth. No Love is ever wasted. Each one teaches us to Love deeper, freer, and more authentically.

One-sided Love might begin as heartbreak, but it can end as awakening — the moment you realize that the Love you were giving was never lost… it was meant to return to you, in the form of your own wholeness.

So if you’re going through this, take heart.You are not unloved — you are being guided back to the purest form of Love: the one that begins inside you.

Heal & Shine with Komal

Life.Love.Healing

Evolving from Twin Flame Harmony.