What Is Ego? How to Find Balance Between Illusion and Truth?

By Heal and Shine with Komal – Life. Love. Healing. Evolving from Twin Flames Harmony

“The ego is not your enemy — it is your teacher. It is the veil you came to lift.”

We live most of our lives believing we are this personality, this body, this name. We believe our emotions are us, our thoughts define us, and our pain belongs to us. Yet the ancient sages, from the Upanishads to the Bhagavad Gita, have said otherwise — that who you think you are is only a shadow of who you truly are. That shadow is called Ego.

The Bhagavad Gita (2:71) says: “A person who gives up all desires and the sense of ‘I’ and ‘mine’ attains peace.”That “I” — the one that says “my pain,” “my victory,” “my worth” — is the ego. It is the false identification of consciousness with form.

Ego is not evil. It is simply the mind’s way of saying, “I exist.”But the tragedy is that the more we identify with that limited “I,” the more we separate ourselves from truth.

🌸 What Is Ego, Truly?

In psychology, ego is the structure that mediates between our primitive instincts and our higher values. It gives us self-awareness and helps us survive. It’s the one who plans, protects, and reacts. A healthy ego is necessary for daily life.

But in spirituality, ego is ahamkara — the false self that mistakes the impermanent for the eternal. It believes “I am the body,” “I am my past,” “I am my pain,” “I am special.”

The Mandukya Upanishad describes the Self as the pure witness — eternal and untouched — while the ego is just one of the waves on the ocean of consciousness. When you mistake the wave for the ocean, suffering begins.

From a psychiatric lens, an unbalanced ego can manifest as disorders of self — narcissism, anxiety, grandiosity, or emptiness.

From a spiritual lens, it manifests as separation — from God, from others, and from your own peace.

So ego is both — a function of mind and a fog over the soul.

🌿 The Many Faces of Ego

Ego is not one thing. It changes form like smoke — invisible but everywhere.

1. The Prideful Ego – “I am right.”

It thrives in superiority. It controls, argues, and fears being wrong. It cannot love because love requires surrender.Spiritual truth: True strength bows to truth, not to pride.Healing tool: Practice humility. Each time you are right, ask, “Do I want peace or victory?”

2. The Wounded Ego – “I am not enough.”

This one hides behind pain, victimhood, and comparison. It fears rejection and constantly seeks validation.Psychological truth: It’s an ego still trying to feel safe.Healing tool: Inner child work — sit with your wounded self and whisper, “You are safe. You are loved.”

3. The Defensive Ego – “I must protect myself.”

It builds walls, avoids vulnerability, and masks fear with control.Spiritual truth: Vulnerability is divine courage.Healing tool: Journaling — write down the truths you’re afraid to say. Truth melts the wall.

4. The Spiritual Ego – “I am awakened.”

It pretends to have transcended the ego itself. It judges those who are “not conscious.

”Truth from Gita: The wise see all beings with equal eyes — the learned, the humble, the cow, the elephant, and even the outcast.

Healing tool: Ground yourself daily in gratitude and humility. The soul that knows truth never needs to announce it.

🌕 Is Ego Necessary?

The answer lies in balance.

Ego is necessary to navigate the material world — to express individuality, to set boundaries, to fulfill purpose. Without ego, you would not even say “I am.”But when the ego forgets it is just a tool, it becomes the jailer of your soul.

The Gita calls this Ahamkara bondage — the illusion that “I am the doer.” Krishna teaches Arjuna that actions must be done, but with detachment: “Act, but let go of the sense of ‘I am the doer.’”

So, ego is not to be destroyed, but purified — turned from self-centered identity into God-centered awareness.

🧠 Psychology and Psychiatry on Ego

In modern psychology, Carl Jung spoke of “ego death” not as destruction, but as expansion — when the conscious self connects with the unconscious and becomes whole.

Psychiatry explains that a fragile ego leads to anxiety, identity crises, or projection —

blaming others for what we cannot face within ourselves. Healing the ego means building self-awareness, emotional regulation, and reality acceptance.

Spirituality adds the missing link — that the final healing comes not from control, but from surrender. Awareness dissolves illusion; surrender opens the heart.

🌼 Universal Laws and Ego

According to Universal Law of One, separation is illusion. All consciousness is one field expressing itself through many forms. Ego exists only to create contrast — to allow love to recognize itself.

The Law of Reflection says: everything that triggers you is showing a part of yourself. Every conflict, jealousy, or fear is your ego asking to be seen and released.

The Law of Surrender says: what you resist, persists; what you accept, transforms.

🌺 Tools to Heal and Balance the Ego

1. Self-Observation (Witness Consciousness)

   • Watch your thoughts like clouds. Do not judge, just observe. This practice comes from the Upanishads and forms the foundation of mindfulness.

   • The watcher is not the ego — it is the soul.

2. Meditation and Breath Awareness

   • Focus on your breath. With every inhale, say “I Am.” With every exhale, release “I Am Not This.”

   • Slowly, identity loosens its grip.

3. Mirror Work

   • Look into your eyes. See the Divine gazing back. Speak gently: “I forgive you for forgetting who you are.”

4. Acts of Service

   • The ego weakens when you serve without reward. Help, love, give — not to be seen, but to remember unity.

5. Twin Flame Mirror Practice

   • The twin flame journey is an ego dissolver. Each trigger reveals a wound. Each separation asks you to return inward. Healing within softens the mirror without.

6. Therapeutic Integration

   • Work with affirmations, journaling, or therapy to strengthen healthy ego boundaries. A balanced ego serves the soul; a wounded ego distorts it.

     
     

💫 The Truth of Liberation

The moment you stop identifying with your pain, it begins to dissolve.The moment you stop defending your identity, peace returns.And the moment you stop asking “Who am I?” and instead rest in “I Am,” truth reveals itself.

As the Katha Upanishad says: “The Self is not known through much learning, but only through the one whom It chooses. To such a one, It reveals Its own nature.”

When you surrender the ego’s need to control, truth chooses you.

🌻 FAQ on Ego

Q1. Can ego ever be destroyed?

No. It can only be transcended through awareness. The ego doesn’t die; it becomes transparent.

Q2. How do I know if my ego is active?

When you feel defensive, superior, inferior, or hurt by truth — that’s ego speaking.

Q3. Is ego the same as self-respect?

No. Ego separates, self-respect integrates. Ego says, “I am better.” Self-respect says, “I am worthy.”

Q4. How can I heal ego pain?

By feeling it fully without labeling it. Awareness itself is the balm.

Q5. What does freedom from ego feel like?

Peaceful. Spacious. You stop needing to prove, to control, to be seen. You just are.

🌞 Closing Truth

The ego says, “I am this.”

The soul smiles and whispers, “I am.”

The journey of life is not about killing the ego but about seeing through it. Ego is the cocoon — and when you see it clearly, you no longer live inside it.You emerge — radiant, free, whole.

And in that moment of truth… you finally Heal and Shine. 🌸

🌸 Hi, I’m Komal Aravind 🌸

I’m a Certified Life Coach, Healer, and Spiritual Teacher. I support people through Life Coaching, Twin Flames guidance, Inner Child Healing, Chakra Balancing, Akashic Records, Reiki, Angel Therapy, and intuitive card readings.

If you're healing from the past, feeling stuck, or going through a Twin Flames journey, I'm here to walk beside you. My approach is gentle, holistic, and focused on bringing peace, clarity, and balance to every area of your life—relationships, career, finances, and spiritual growth.

✨ Feeling called to begin?You are not alone. Your healing is sacred, and you deserve loving support.

You can explore my free and paid courses, or book a personal session 

with me on my website:🌐 www.twinflamesharmony.com

📧 You’re welcome to email me at: twinflamesharmony@gmail.com

Sessions are available in Hindi or English.

With love and deep gratitude to God and all my teachers,– Komal Aravind🙏

Heal & Shine with Komal

 Life.Love.Healing.

 Evolving from Twin Flames Harmony.